Gone

Gone are the days I used to wake up cheerfully to bright summer
mornings.
Gone are the days I donned a genuine smile on my face, instead of
this fake one that I have oh so beautifully mastered.
Gone are the days I used to wonder what is it that makes this world
so perfect.
Gone are the days I used to get marks above average in class.
Gone are the days I used to listen in each and every class.
Gone are the days I felt good about caring for someone.
Gone are the days I looked at a thing of beauty and admired it.
Gone are the days I wrote down every conversation I had with people I considered special.
Gone are the days I used to feel special.
Gone are the days I used to feel visible.
Gone are the days I thought I was lucky.
Gone are the days I had firm, unshakable principles of living.
Gone are the days I went to sleep with a calming feeling of satisfaction.

One year old

It has been a full one year since I started blogging. It has truly been a wonderful experience. The new header has been designed especially for the occasion. Blogitto, Ergo Sum is officially one year old. Yay!

I am glad that every month has had its share of blogposts, just one post in some while four in a few others. My blog has come a long way since it was born. It reflects how my life was at different points of time. From academics and classes, the focus shifts to sports to getting bored like every other person during the three month vacation. Who can forget that phase of my life when I used to Bang!, Bang! again and Bang! not again! away to glory with no rhyme or reason? Hell, a Bang! Counter was created thanks to Aditya! I was rumoured to have a crush on my then brand new watch which, by the way, I still admire though it has lost a reasonable amount of the erstwhile captivating lustre. There was a marathon I don't remember much about. The world around me came to know how very angelic I could be on the day I had a blast of a birthday. Notice the infinite sarcasm in the previous line.

I got tagged. I revealed eight random facts about myself. That's right! Eight random facts! I realized that it was time to revisit kindergarten and see if I still remember The English Alphabet. Guess what? I remembered all twenty six of them. And then it was time. It was time to step into the Devil's shoes. The Devil struck again in an episode that is quoted till date for the pure evil that it was. My first addiction arrived grandly but I must say it has decreased with time. I got caught in class for not paying attention for the very first time. I tried my hand at open ended fiction having had a disturbing dream about an underworld don. I took part in that 3:11 thingy. Watch out for it next time if you missed it. I bid adieu to a very happening year in a very unique way and New Years' Day brought along with it a few drastic changes in my life.

A typical day in my life is reflected in this post. I was absolutely thrilled to have designed my own header and even more thrilled to get compliments for the same. I learnt the weird way that vague senseless stuff like this will be analysed and distorted in every possible way. There was a time when there was a rainbow within me. Now, just the sun remains. It shines with all its glory. I admit that I can be passionate about very unusual things. I loved this song so much that I googled enough on the Greek mythology behind it to write an IEEE paper.


My blog has come a long way and so have I. As far as the future goes. You will just have to stick around and find out. :D

Orestes

The music.
The anger.
The frustration.
The desperation.
The passion in his voice.
The numbing sensation.

The song "Orestes" by A Perfect Circle on the album Mer de Noms is truly a masterpiece. It is beautifully woven around a captivating Greek mythological story about the character Orestes.
Wikipedia link.
Mythology Guide description.
Songfacts gives a lot of interpretations to the song.

Metaphor for a missing moment
Pull me in to your perfect circle

One womb
One shame
One resolve
Liberate this will
To release us all

Gotta cut away, clear away
Snip away and sever this
Umbilical residue,
Keeping me from killing you
And from pulling you down with me here,
I can almost hear you scream

Give me one more medicated peaceful moment
Give me one more medicated peaceful moment

And I don't wanna feel this
Overwhelming hostility
I don't wanna feel this
Overwhelming hostility

Gotta cut away, clear away
Snip away and sever this
Umbilical residue

Gotta cut away, clear away
Snip away and sever this
Umbilical residue,
Keeping me from killing you

Snip away and sever this
Keeping me from killing you

There's something about this song that makes me listen to it almost every day. Do listen to the song, if you haven't already. If you cannot get the song, drop a comment and a mail address and I will mail it to you.

PS: @Shady
Thanks for the song.

The Rainbow

I feel a rainbow within me.
The sun shines because I feel alive.
The rain pours because well, it just decided to.

Recursion

My heart leapt in rapture as he sang whilst my eyes gleamed in his presence; the very presence that haunted my dreams back at the institute during lengthy dreary nights, but alas! he vanishes, fades away just like in the dreams I have at the institute where I am while I speak thus.

Update: This is to clarify any doubts regarding the post. It is a line from one of my entries for Creative Writing at Saarang '08. The entry conforms to the constraint that it does not contain the letter 'o'. As regards the matter, it just came up by itself. As mentioned, it is tagged under fiction with the valid reason that well, it is fictitious.

A Brand New Look

Voila! My new personalized blog header. I love it.
Created on Jan 12th 2008 using Adobe Photoshop.

Whose tikka is it anyway?

There is a considerable amount of defiance in the air when a nineteen year old girl goes all by herself to a real family restaurant. Tifanys is, clearly, not counted. I called up my parents to let them know I had reached home (others call it IITM) safely. I made sure they realized how grown up I was. It felt good. I ordered something and decided to set my eyes on my television till the time my phone stopped bulbing. That's when I noticed them; the family. Well, I noticed the guy in the family first. Typical goody goody boy - I don't behave indecently - I don't eat nonveg - I smoke not - I drink not and so on. And then I saw the rest of the family; all glued to the television. "Wow! A Samsung plasma TV. I have never seen one before. Beta, dekh lo. You might not get this chance again." I did not technically hear this, but this is pretty much what they would've said, if they did talk that is. I decided then and there that I was going to sit back and watch the show. ( And I did not mean the one on TV, in case you are a total moron.)

A plate of mouth-watering paneer tikka arrived on the table. They kept worshipping the television. What an insult! It was the son who ventured to set his eyes upon the impudent foreign object that had dared to intrude into his life. The look of disgust on his eyes went well with the scorn on his face. A classic example of the 'look before you leap' category of people. Note that the others had not so much as looked in the direction of the solitary plate on their table.

Somewhere between then and now my order arrived and it felt luxurious to have something to munch as I was getting entertained. As far as the paneer tikka goes, the dad, the 'leap and then look' category, was the next in line. His hand shot and grabbed a piece of onion. Onion! Raw onion! Was the paneer part invisible or was I hallucinating?

Daddy then asks daughter to have a look. She, the 'don't look, don't leap' category, carried on her disturbing admiration for the particularly irritating comedian on the flat screen. Of course, mummy was not to be left out of all this action. She consults daddy, "Do you think it is eatable? Is it a part of the table deco.." only to be intruded by daughter, "Mummy, talk softly. I'm watching TV." That served as the cue to bring all those who were distracted by that lowly dish (or was it a table decoration?) back to what they did best. "All hail the Samsung Flat Screen."

December, Poor December

Well, December sobs because there is no post up. So here's to a blast of a December. Cheers. I'm off to spend a vague night filled with dynamic plans. It's New Year's eve. Happy New Year.

That 3:11 thingy

This is where I was at 3:11 pm on 03/11/07. Thanks to Amrit bhaiya for the information. I know the write up cannot get any more cliched. I thought just the picture would be sufficient but the 50 word description was too tempting to ignore. Besides it seemed like those limited-word English precis writing assignments back in school. Anyway, here's the link to more of what fellow-Chennaiites were upto.

PS: Maybe I should have put up a post informing you people about this but let's just interpret my laziness as my first attempt at RGing.

The picture was taken inside IIT Madras campus. The campus is built inside a lush green forest. The trees symbolize Nature and the scooters symbolize human intervention into Nature. The picture, thus, stands testimony to the fact that even in a busy metro city, Nature can exist in perfect harmony with man.

Underworld

“There’s a car waiting. See to it that those girls are dropped wherever they want and get yourself a free ride home.”

He walked towards the car and noticed the girls his boss was talking about.

“Is that an E-60?”

He looks around for the owner of that excited, impulsive voice. It was one of the girls in the group. She seemed far younger than the others most likely in her late teens. He sees no harm in talking to her although in a land where conversations were strictly restricted to business.

“Yeah, it is. Do you like it?” He has a warm smile on his lips and an innocent sparkle in his eyes.

“Yes. It looks lovely. I have never seen one this close before.”

He asks her to keep the file he had with him in her bag.

It was a monotonous journey except for occasional bikes vrooming past. She was visibly bored and started yet another abrupt conversation.

“Do you like working there?”

“Well, yes. I get a good salary but it’s a nasty business that they do. I can do nothing about it though. Anyway, here’s my stop.”

“Oh, where do you stay?”

“Starry Heights Apartments. I don’t feel comfortable at the office quarters. It’s a small apartment but I like it. Goodnight then. Nice meeting you.”

She finds his file in her bag. The following day, she goes to his apartment and hands him his folder.

“Oh, thank you so much. I was wondering how I would trace you without so much as a name.”

She sports a satisfied smile. “Are you always alone? Don’t you have any friends?”

He admires the spontaneity in her questions. “No, I generally don’t entertain here. I retire to this tiny apartment to get away from the monotony of work.” She leaves. He feels the presence of a caring soul. She feels the presence of a soul to be cared for.

Work goes on as usual. He and his monotonous work – neither cribs. 1 message received. Please fill in for me at the Interview hall today. I am down with fever. Thanks. Selection for shipping – 11 pm.

11 pm. He was right on time. He was briefed in on what to do – ensure that the candidate is on the list and mark those worth shipping. “Candidate?”, he wondered. His eyes fell on a skinny waif being dragged by a well built man. It all made sense now. He could do nothing. Each girl was led into the room; one more pathetic than the previous. He looked up to see who was next in line. Their eyes met. She felt energized while he felt stoned. He had to do something. He couldn’t just stand there and watch her go through such humiliation. She was pretty. She would easily be chosen. He knew he had to act. Something, anything. He went up to his boss and said it was getting late and there was some important business to be taken care of. The boss thought over it and gave him a suspicious look. The selection process was halted till further notice. He looked at her from the corner of his eye and felt good.

A couple of days passed. 523, Starry Heights Apartments; a knock on the door. His fellow employee opens and gives her an unwelcome look. She searches for him and their eyes click. His friends hand him his jacket and he rises to leave. She presses a fleeting kiss on his cheek and whispers, “Thanks.” He puts his arm around her shoulder.

Beside the fountain outside his apartment, he realizes how happy he was with her and vows to keep her happy all her life. Her eyes well up as she feels elated. The next moment they shatter into a million pieces. It was a cruel world and he could do nothing about it.

PS: This was a real dream I had last summer. Every bit of this occurred in that freaking dream dated July 27th, 2007.